Ye Tera Ghar Ye Mera Ghar This is your house, this is my house....

Building a Dream Home: A mirage of self worth, Expectations, and Growth

In our lives, certain dreams shapes our perceptions of success and happiness. For many of us, owning a home is at the top of that list. It is a symbol of stability, a mark of achievement, and a testament to hard work. But what happens when the dream of owning a home becomes a source of stress, resentment, and self-doubt?

I have found myself in this very situation - a paradox where I have the privilege of owning properties in two wonderful cities, Bhubaneswar and Cuttack, both of which are homes my parents have provided. Yet, despite this material security, I often find myself feeling homeless, not because I am lacking a roof over my head, but because I do n't have my own home one that I can call my personal achievement.

It’s a common thought process, and I’m sure many can relate. We are constantly surrounded by others who seem to have more, who have bigger houses, nicer cars, or better lives. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our progress with that of others. When I look at some of my colleagues—people who have built palatial homes despite earning less than I do—I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. I begin questioning my own worth, asking myself why, despite my best efforts, I haven’t reached the same level of success.

What complicates this even further is the stage of life I’m in now. My son is entering a crucial phase of his career, where financial resources are essential for his future. In this context, building a house feels less like a personal dream and more like a distant wish, something that I might need to push aside for the sake of his growth.

I can’t deny it—this situation has taken a toll on my psyche. The pressure I place on myself to meet societal standards of success is overwhelming at times. Yet, there is a part of me that understands that the concept of success is far more nuanced than simply owning a grand home.

The truth is, the journey toward personal fulfillment often requires sacrifices, and for me, the dream of building a house right now has to be put on hold. I take comfort in the idea that others may have had access to resources or opportunities that I haven’t, but I still struggle with the underlying sense of self-doubt that comes from comparing myself to them.

As I approach my 50s, I’ve come to realize that I need to focus on goals that will bring deeper satisfaction—goals that align more with my values than just building a structure to fulfill my social status. While owning a house is a noble goal, it shouldn’t define my self-worth. There’s so much more to life than tangible assets, and I must remind myself of that every day.

At this stage in my life, I choose to focus on my family, on the experiences that matter, and on leaving behind a legacy that’s not defined by bricks and mortar, but by the way I’ve impacted others. The success I measure is not about competing with others; it's about the quiet joy that comes with knowing I’m doing my best, even if it doesn’t fit the conventional mold.